A Father Called Me With a Russian Accent. A few months after I launched Rabbi On Demand, my phone rang.
The voice on the other end had a thick Russian accent. He asked plainly, “Are you the rabbi?” I said, “Yes, I am.”
Then he asked, “Are you Orthodox?” I said, “Yes.” There was a pause. “Okay then,” he said, “you won’t be able to help me.”
“Wait! Please don’t hang up”, I replied. “Just give me a chance. Tell me your story.”
And he did.
A year earlier, this father had lost his daughter to suicide. At the time, broken with grief and burdened by old understandings, he believed that Jewish tradition would not allow her to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. That she would be excluded. That there was no path for mourning her in our tradition.
So they had her cremated. They buried her ashes. Alone.
Now, a year later, her yahrzeit – the anniversary of her passing was approaching, and the family still carried the pain, confusion, and guilt. They longed to do something, anything, that would honour her in a Jewish way. To reconnect with their faith, to find comfort, to feel like she was still part of something sacred.
As I listened to his story, I cried.
And when he finished, I said: “Of course I can help you. We will find a way.”
I wasn’t in town at the time, but I worked with a trusted colleague to design a ceremony, one that was gentle, appropriate, and meaningful. At the place where her ashes were buried, the rabbi led a simple service: readings, reflections, blessings, and space for raw, unfiltered memory.
It brought healing. Not total healing, there is no such thing for a loss like that, but a step forward. A moment of dignity. Of inclusion. Of holiness.
Nearly every day, I get calls that start like that one. A little unusual. A little outside the lines. But always deeply human. And I’ve made it my mission to say “Yes.” To hold space. To honour the complexity of people’s lives. And to trust that if our Torah is truly divine, if it’s infinite, then it can meet us in any situation.
There is always a way. And this is what lies at the essence of Rabbi on Demand.
Because being Jewish isn’t about perfect circumstances. It’s about showing up with open hearts, open minds, and the courage to find meaning even in the hardest moments.
If you’re carrying something heavy, or wondering if there’s a place for you in Jewish life, please reach out.
You don’t have to walk it alone.
